The concept of win-win is well known in the world of business. But have you ever thought of what are the energy drivers behind this concept and on how these drivers influence a good relationship, no matter if this relationship is the one to your parents, your siblings, your friends or your partner? What makes a good relationship? How can you influence a good relationship on your end?
Relationships in general depend on energy. Positive energy tend to make relationships easier, more successful and happier than negative energy. Energy is generated and distributed in energy centers called chakras. The concept of win-win, a balance of interest so that both partners are able to profit, are based on creating a balance between self-interest (emotional will) and interest for someone else (love).
The energy of self-interest (in positive and negative characteristics or energy) is mainly located at the solar plexus chakra, the energy center at the hollow area between the ribs. The solar plexus is the center for both positive and negative emotions. Positive emotions include ambition, daringness, righteous indignation, justice, the desire to win and fairness and a good sense of self-interest. Negative emotions of this energy center are anger, irritation, hatred, envy, greed, worry, fear, selfishness, anxiety, and many more. This is the ‘I’ center, as in I want this, I want that.
Nowadays we are mostly driven by emotions. That’s why it is called the “will center of the masses” or as center of “strength” in kabbalah.
The energy of interest for others and love for other people is mainly located at the Heart chakra, the energy center at the center of the chest. Compared to the emotions of the Solar Plexus chakra, those of the Heart are on a higher vibration. Heart chakra is the center for peace, serenity, joy, compassion, kindness, generosity, tenderness, caring, etc.
What happens if one of these energy centers is much bigger than the other one?
Let’s discuss two scenarios:
- The Solar Plexus chakra is much stronger than the Heart chakra: This means, “I” is much more important than others. I just do, what I like to do and I get profit of, which is my goal. I get selfish, and can even get brutal to achieve my goals as the others are not important to me. People with a too strong Solar Plexus tend to be jealous, and might try to boss you around.
- The Heart chakra is much stronger than the solar plexus chakra: I do everything for others, no matter if I really want to do it or not. People with a too strong Heart chakra might lose the contact to their own reality and might get abused. Their self-esteem might be really low and they tend to overcompensate by doing too much for others. In addition: where there is too much love, there tend to be chaos.
A good relationship therefore is having a good balance of these types of energy, these energy centers- having a balance of self-interest and interest for others. This is the correct self-esteem: the correct amount of self-interest in combination with love for others; taking decisions that benefit you and other people. This is a win-win situation in a relationship.
We need to understand this concept right! There are relationships where in general you just give without condition, known as unconditional love- these are most likely relationships to people who mean a lot to you as your partner, your children, your parents, etc. But even in these relationships, is it that you never get anything back in return? No! For sure you also get love back from them, sometimes compliments or even small gifts to show how much they care for you.
Rather be aware of a relationship where you give and give and give…. but never get ANYTHING back. Do you think this is a healthy and good relationship? Try to think about such relationships and make adjustments, as only balanced relationships are good relationships.
- Master Choa Kok Sui. (2009). The Chakras and their Functions. Institute for Inner Studies Publishing Foundation.